Her blog posts were getting, on average, about 2 or 3 comments and a handful of likes until Jennifer Garam wrote this post a few days ago, “How to Keep Writing When No One Gives a $h#!” (word masking mine)
She laid her heart out and shared her thoughts about the trials of moving forward as a writer, rejection after rejection, when no one seemed to even notice or care about her work. And as of this morning, she had close to 400 comments and more than 700 likes on the post.
We see this type of phenomenon play out again and again, when people dare to remove their masks and open there hearts. And the response is always the same. There is a collective sigh of relief as we find comfort in our ability to witness another person’s vulnerabilities.
We think, “Man, she has some spider webs in her closet just like me.” Or, “Oh wow, she’s terrified (again) just like me.” And all of a sudden, a piece of our own heart feels seen, validated and even redeemed.
I call this phenomenon, “vulnerability rising” and it’s so refreshing to witness more and more individuals step into its revealing waters. Vulnerability is one of the key characteristics of wholeheartedness and as we begin to redefine our relationship with work, particularly as leaders, we are finding that it is a quality that is absolutely essential for sustained success.
Vocabulary.com defines vulnerability as: “The quality of being easily hurt or attacked.” However, as we learn to embrace its usefulness as it relates to building connection, there is a decisive need to redefine it as a positive and powerful trait.
Being vulnerable has been traditionally viewed as a weakness, but it is, without question, now being embraced as an important strength.
Brene’ Brown says, “Vulnerability sounds like truth and feels like courage. Truth and courage aren’t always comfortable, but they’re never weakness.”
I define vulnerability as, “The degree to which people are able to reclaim their power and humanity by daring to be deeply seen and known.”
Although we have been conditioned to respond to the sparkle and the bling of success, we all have a natural resonance with truth, humility and imperfection, the identifiable qualities of vulnerability. As such, we are much more inclined to follow and trust someone who knows how to gracefully display their own humanity.
Last week, I attended the Hope Global Forums Annual Meeting and it was truly one of the most well-structured and informative conferences I’ve ever attended.
I learned so much from both the keynotes and breakout sessions and left each one feeling particularly motivated and inspired.
However, the experience that I found to be most impactful was the Vulnerability Wall which was a feature put in place by Corey Blake and his team at Round Table Companies (RTC).
Conference participants were asked to anonymously complete cards that asked a single question,
“What makes you feel vulnerable?”
The only additional prompt was the clarifying question: “What makes you feel vulnerable surrounding this conference or in your life or mission?”
And from there, RTC’s team of graphic designers translated the responses into visual pieces of art on an elongated blackboard.
This was a high profile event with all sorts of CEO’s, former heads of state, ambassadors, politicians and the like and this single experience revealed one thing: We are all grappling with the same fears.
As we, as delegates, worked to remember the spiels about our companies and our work and tried to present ourselves in the best light, can you imagine how refreshing it was to know that we were not alone in our fears and insecurities?
The responses to the question of what makes you feel vulnerable included things like . . .
“Initiating contact to make meaningful connections.”
“Not being good enough.”
“Feeling inadequate in this space.”
“What to talk about.”
“Knowing what to do with my life.”
“Financial stress.”
It honestly felt like all of these people I’d never met before had magically jumped into my own very personal world. And seeing their responses gave me the courage to stand more firmly within myself.
What a gift.
So, what does this mean for our work?
The evolving world of work (and our place in it) demands that we step more fully into ourselves so that we can, in turn, usher in the extraordinary innovations and ways of being that will collectively move us forward as a society.
We all have a responsibility, to ourselves and to one another, to get over our inhibitions and out of our own way. And a willingness to embrace vulnerability is key.
The world will be set free by people who are free.
So, for your part, as you continue in your work, I invite you to . . .
Give yourself permission to be seen at work. . .
Speak up on your own behalf. . .
Admit when you don’t know something or when you need help. . .
Frustrated? Lose the stone face and be real. . .
Visibly express your joy. . .
Dare to be compassionate towards someone you dislike. . .
Show up anyway. . .
Learn to say “yes” to more opportunities. . .
Learn to say “no” when your plate is already full. . .
Share your failures as enthusiastically as you share your successes.
The point?
Be you. All of you. Be brave and courageously you, even if you’re terribly afraid.
I’ll be the first to tell you that not everyone will know how to receive you (because they are grappling with finding their own safe space). Never mind their response. You receive yourself.
I assure you that, in the process, you will welcome the freedom, spaciousness and power that comes from embracing this approach. And I’m certain that, just like Jennifer Garam who revealed her frustrations as a writer, you will simultaneously set a whole lot of other folks free as well.
Corey Blake and his team have coined the phrase “Vulnerability is Sexy”, which I absolutely love (and yep, they have shirts available upon request) but I simply choose to say that “Vulnerability is Power” and yes, although it is cliché, it is absolutely the new black. ;-)
So, don’t get left on the sidelines of this emerging revolution. Choose to get on board today. Take the oath and join the ranks by doing something that makes you just a wee bit queasy and vulnerable, even at the thought of it.
Show yourself. Show your big, beautiful, super bad and imperfect self.
Owning Change Quote of the Week: “Vulnerability is not knowing victory or defeat, it’s understanding the necessity of both; it’s engaging. It’s being all in.” — Brene’ Brown
Monica Moody
Monica Moody
