“Let peace begin with me.” A phrase that I reflect on often, especially this time of year. As I look around at all of the valiant effort that goes forth on a daily basis to make the world a better place, I recognize that our efforts are amiss if we do not simultaneously work to create peace within ourselves. As within, so without.
At the beginning of this month, I had the most amazing opportunity to sit with myself for this very purpose of cultivating peace within. I participated in a 10 day silent meditation retreat and it was, by far, one of the most challenging and rewarding things I’ve ever done.
(Dhamma Patapa, Source: http://www.patapa.dhamma.org/)
Meditating 10 hours per day with no communication with others gives us an incredible opportunity to see just how peaceful (or not) we are. By observing the mind and its simultaneous reaction to such challenging and arduous work, I got to see myself real good.
When I was initially told about the 10 day course, I was looking to go deeper in my own personal development and I was immediately attracted to the idea of being in silence for such an extended period. And then, once the election hit, I couldn’t seem to get to the start date fast enough. The noise was simply too much.
What I overlooked (to my own benefit) was what it would mean to sit and meditate for 10 hours per day with allergies, back pain and a ridiculously wandering mind in tow.
By day one, I wanted to run. I would sit and imagine myself bowing before the teacher and saying (in my Kung Fu Panda voice), “Teacher, if I am forced to stay another day, I may die, teacher.” Whenever I spoke to her in my mind, I added “teacher” at the beginning and the end of the sentence for emphasis and it always gave me the biggest chuckle.
This single, little ridiculous joke that belonged to no one but me, saved me on multiple occasions.
I am still very much processing the details and I expect that different aspects of what I learned will continue to surface as I move forward, but there were a few things that I wanted to share.
Suffering Less and Loving More
Ultimately, I learned very quickly that the only way I was going to survive the course was to learn to be in the present moment which meant that I had to learn to better manage my mind. Right, the point of it all.
Prior to this experience I had no idea just how undisciplined my mind was. If I had focused on the pain in my body or strictness of the course or the fact that I missed my family so much, etc., then I would not have survived it. And some individuals did not.
The meditation technique that we learned (along with the structure of the course itself) was designed to teach us how to be more equanimous in how we manage the vicissitudes of life. As we heal our minds and develop our capacity to be less reactive, two things happen, (1) we suffer less, having developed the ability to maintain a balanced mind regardless of the circumstances of our lives and (2) the love and compassion that is a natural part of our being is able to flow more freely and abundantly.
How Do You Carry Your Pain?
During the group sittings, I noticed a few women who were always so graceful and so disciplined and I admired their qualities tremendously. They came in, they sat, oftentimes with minimal cushions and blankets, and they maintained a mountain like stillness during the meditations.
Comparatively, sitting for me was such a production! I had a back support, extra pillows, legs propped with multiple blankets and cushions, scarves and plenty of shawls. And it was still a struggle to maintain my posture without moving, as was required. So, I simply concluded that I must have had much more body pain and “issues” than they did.
Post retreat, I was able to speak with one of these women who I had admired. She explained that she had great pain in her body in multiple areas whenever she sat, but she’d simply learned to be present and still in spite of it.
This, of course, made me think of how this is reflected in life, in general. I know we’ve all seen people who lose it with the experience of the slightest misfortune. And then there are those who have suffered tremendously and they still carry so much light, joy, humility, peace and grace.
Even Mild Annoyance is Not Peace
Another thing I realized is that agitation and annoyance are passes that I give myself often without realizing the impact that these emotions have on me and my environment. As the course website says, “Agitation and peace cannot co-exist.” Irritation means that something within me is unsettled and at odds with what is. And resisting the present moment, even in the slightest way, prevents us from being at peace.
When our personal and professional efforts emanate from a place of peace, they carry a magnified power and that’s what I desire to offer to the world. Thankfully, I am now much more conscious of what arises within me and I feel more capable of managing it.
Seeing Things as They Really Are
And finally, there was clarity. When we are still we have a greater capacity to see things as they really are and I experienced this at a much deeper level during the course. The stories, the labels, the false perceptions, they all emanate from an untamed mind. Much like a lake, when the water is still, the surrounding environment is reflected in it more clearly.
Once I was still, I could see some of the stories that I’d created in my mind, particularly as it relates to certain relationships. And once they were dismantled, a greater love and compassion for these individuals definitely flowed more freely.
Implications for the Workplace
The retreat could essentially be characterized as a course in how to suffer less. And as you can imagine, I began to draw immediate parallels for how its concepts could be applied in the workplace, the place where suffering seems to prevail.
I recognize that this is but one path that can lead one towards personal liberation but should you find yourself intrigued, please do commit to learning more about it. In addition to their standard 10 day, they also offer an executive course for business leaders which is identical to the standard one but with an additional lecture and Q&A.
Thank you for allowing me to share a piece of my experience from the retreat with you. I’m really excited to integrate what I’ve learned.
I was speaking with a co-meditator post retreat who asked me how did I think the experience would affect my work and I explained to her that when I grow, my clients grow. So, suffice it to say that for 2017, I am excited for us all. :)
Happy Holidays to you! Wishing you tremendous peace.
Monica
Owning Change Quote of the Week: “If you cannot find peace within yourself, you will never find it anywhere else.”– Marvin Gaye
Monica Moody
Monica Moody
