Get Naked and Fall in Love at Work

My brother is quite remarkable. He’s a great guy, he’s super smart, he’s had a really successful career and at 6’7” he has a presence that is not easily forgotten. But we sometimes tease him and call him a “transformer” because we say that he becomes someone different when he steps into the business world.

This is primarily due to the distinction between his every day voice and his “professional voice”. We say that he goes from being “Stanley” to “Staanley – The Professional”. It’s fairly innocent and it gives us a good laugh, but I believe that many of us take on a different persona when we step into the world of work in ways that are much more pronounced than my brother’s. The question is why?

Why are we being forced to walk around with multiple versions of ourselves? Why do we have to take on certain characteristics and lose other characteristics in order to fit into the business world? Is it really about being professional or is something else happening?

Professionalism is defined as, “the skill, good judgment, and polite behavior that is expected from a person who is trained to do a job well.” Great, there are absolutely no problems there. But we have allowed a whole lot to slip in under the guise of professionalism and the result is we are slowly losing ourselves in the mix.

Somewhere along the way we bought into the notion that in order to be professional, we had to hide our humanity. We believe that if we want to succeed in the business world then we need to be serious, show very little personality and keep certain parts of ourselves at bay. We’ve learned that we should be relatively straight-laced, guarded and pretty much emotion free. After all, the very last thing that you want to do is let them see you sweat.

So, with things being as they are, with so much forced pretense and with the unconscious suppression of our wholeness, are we really surprised when we hear that 70% of Americans are disengaged at work?

We are disengaged because the world of work has commanded that we disconnect from who we really are. We are hiding behind resumes, business cards, fancy titles and neutral colored clothes and more. When we’re at work, it’s like we’re stuck in front of a bunch of funhouse mirrors at an amusement park, unsure of what anyone really looks like.

And there is real danger in allowing this to persist. You see, when we close the door on our humanity (in the name of professionalism) we are not just saying no to things like funky, photo bearing resumes on pink paper and red suits at interviews, we’re saying no to things that could advance us like vulnerability which includes a whole slew of emotional no-no’s.

Our unwillingness to show our full selves at work keeps us from doing things like owning our mistakes, asking for help when we need it and speaking our truth when it’s time to lift our voices. It keeps us from being joyful, playful and fully engaged in our work. And most importantly, it keeps us from being loving, compassionate and understanding human beings.

It seems as if our good intentions with regard to professionalism have turned on us and now we’ve gotten completely confused and twisted up in the game. Business is an extension of real, human life. Why do we have to divide ourselves and color it differently?

The thing is we don’t. We don’t have to enter into the world of work as if we’re uniformed robots pretending like we are emotionally stripped. We can choose to rewrite these scripts any time that we desire.

As we celebrate this season of love I want to invite you to do something which on the surface may sound oh so daring. But it’s not. Not really.

You are cordially invited to get naked and fall in love at work.

How is this done without someone landing in jail?

It’s simple. Dare to be seen. No more hiding. Lead with your enthusiasm. Don’t water it down. Bring your fun, joyful, loving self to work each and every day. Sprinkle generous words of praise to those who are doing good work. Help someone who may be afraid to ask for help. Release grudges and resentments that are poisoning your own soul. Be present and engaged with the people you serve. Be compassionate and forgiving without worrying about being labeled as weak.  Be generous with your kindness and your smile. Be empathetic and understanding instead of judgmental and critical. Release yourself and others from antiquated notions of professionalism that have nothing to do with one’s abilities. And by all means, love.

Love is simply showing deep care and appreciation for another. Think about it. What do you desire in your personal relationships?  Trust, respect, openness, support, accountability, fairness and honesty are the things that immediately come to mind for me. We desire these, along with things like compatibility, connection, acceptance, passion, i.e. enthusiasm, play and humor. We are simply wired to want these things. So, why then, do we tolerate the absence of these things at work? Give these things to others wherever you find yourself planted and you will positively change the face of work as we know it.

There’s nothing mysterious, naughty, unsafe or inappropriate about inserting nakedness and love into your professional life. You are a whole being who yearns to be alive and engaged just like the rest of us. Release the chains and set yourself free. Your declaration is bound to inspire others to free themselves as well.

Owning Change Quote of the Week: “Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them humanity cannot survive.” — Dalai Lama