American humorist and writer, Erma Bombeck said, “When I stand before God at the end of my life, I would hope that I would not have a single bit of talent left, and could say, ‘I used everything you gave me’.”
Yes. That.
I have been super connected, in recent years, to an insatiable desire to get my gifts (and all that I came to share) out and into the world. And though I sometimes get in my own way, I find great pleasure in knowing that my soul will not let me rest if I pull back.
What about you? What gifts did you come to bear? What corner of the world are you supposed to make more beautiful?
If you want to take the same powerful stand that Erma Bombeck offered in her quote, knowing that you’ve used every talent and gift you possessed, then here are a few things to look out for.
#1: Don’t Fall for the Lies You Tell Yourself
The conditioning sets in early. Whenever something happened that threw you off a bit, you created a story around it. The bigger the hurt, the bigger the story. And our stories are rarely benign. Usually they feed off of other stories and grow in mass by looking for other experiences to validate their existence and keep them alive. And as they feed off of relevant pain and hurt, they become bigger and even more compelling.
“I’m not smart enough.” “What I think doesn’t matter.” “I’m not likeable/lovable enough.” “Something’s wrong with me.” “I can’t do that because….”
Insert your story here: ________
Any deficiency you feel is a false narrative… an untruth… a flat out lie. You have the capacity to deliver anything that you feel called to do. If you didn’t have the capacity you would not have received the call.
Your heart speaks the language of your soul. And it houses your truth. Your mind is designed to work in service of your heart but it’s also designed to keep you safe, which it attempts to do by creating stories to keep you from taking flight. You have to train your mind to believe.
So what to do if you’re trapped in your own stories?
The most powerful step in dismantling them is recognizing them for what they are. Track your stories by watching for your “becauses”. “I can’t do this because….” “This happened because….” Whatever comes after the because, as the reason why you aren’t offering your gifts to the fullest, is precisely where these deceptive untruths reside. Shine the spotlight of awareness on them and allow the light of truth to expose them for what they are.
#2: Don’t Work on Behalf of a Dream You Don’t Believe In
Love-infused work is a thing. It’s real. It’s the stuff that transforms lives and keeps the world moving forward. But it’s difficult to generate love-infused work if you’re doing something that you don’t feel connected to. The Lebanese poet, Khalil Gibran said, “Work is love made visible.” And it is when we engage it with all of our heart. But so many don’t.
Engagement levels are low in the workplace because too many are emotionally and spiritually disconnected from their work. As such, they deliver their gifts half-heartedly, oftentimes doing more harm than good.
Gibran also said, “And if you cannot work with love but only with distaste, it is better that you should leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take alms of those who work with joy. For if you bake bread with indifference, you bake a bitter bread that feeds but half man’s hunger.”
To be clear, both the recipient and the giver leave this scenario half nourished. You thrive when you give your all.
Whether you work for yourself or for an organization, you will not feel alive and inspired unless you are engaged in work that you believe in. So, find a dream that ignites the fire in you.
#3: Don’t Be the Only One in the Room Who Doesn’t Know Who You Are
When I work with teams, sometimes I’ll administer a self-awareness assessment. If they are at a point in the training where there are sufficient levels of trust, they will complete the assessment for themselves and for others as well.
Those who are fairly self-aware will have ratings that are similar to the ratings of those who assessed them. However, those who are not very self-aware will be shocked and dismayed to find out that others think, for example, that they have a short fuse and talk too much.
You cannot offer your gifts fully and with potency if you do not know who you are. With my private clients, we always start our work together with some level of self-exploration. Why? Because I’ve found that most people get so consumed with life that they fail to carve out time to figure out who they are and why they are here – until some circumstance forces them to do so.
What are your strengths? Your values? Your beliefs? What are your emotional triggers? What are your hopes? Dreams? Fears? What is your natural essence? How do you make others feel? What makes you really happy? What is your unique medicine in the world? What makes you feel balanced and whole?
The deeper your knowledge of self, the greater the odds of you sharing your gifts fully because, (1) you will be less inclined to hide, having recognized those negative stories we talked about earlier for what they are and (2) you will be unencumbered by unnecessary weights and more capable of taking full flight.
If you feel this is an area that needs your attention, then the most direct and sure route to greater self-awareness is through mindfulness. Develop a mindfulness practice through prayer, meditation, and journaling or by some similar means. Or by simply being more present to your own life.
The world needs you – all of you – in all of your glory. Be courageous enough to give it your all.
A gift for you: The end of the year is a great time to reflect on where you are and where you’re going. Here’s a free mindfulness tool to help jumpstart the process for you!
Owning Change Quote of the Week: “A great deal of talent is lost to the world for the want of a little courage.” — Sydney Smith
Monica Moody
Monica Moody
